Can Contentment and Happiness Be a Dutch Thing?

(11/2/22) If you ever go to Amsterdam, you will notice that there are bicycles and people riding bicycles EVERYWHERE. There are bikes being ridden on the bike paths, which can be found on the sides of every street, by all sorts of people, of all ages, but there are also bikes parked on racks along the streets, in the parks, next to sidewalks, chained to porch railings – there are shiny, well-cared-for bikes and there are neglected and abandoned bikes, just visible in the underbrush, spokes enmeshed in fast-climbing vines.

There are cars in Amsterdam too, buses, and the modern trams gliding efficiently to and fro, throughout the city. But what I notice the most are the bikes. Something the bike riders all seem to have in common is an apparent sense of ease and an aura of confidence as they speed by, certain of their route and the rules of the road.

Bob has secured two bikes for us from the hotel and on Wednesday morning, we head out, Google Maps at the ready. Our ultimate destination is Vondelpark, but our first stop is for breakfast at nearby Oeuf Amsterdam. This cozy café is nestled in a residential area where streets are lined with an assortment of brick buildings, both antique and contemporary.

As with all of our encounters in Amsterdam, the staff at Oeuf Amsterdam are friendly, enthusiastic and fluent in English. As soon as we appear, obviously tourists, the server switches seamlessly to English. The locals’ level of comfort in speaking English is remarkable, although I’m not surprised. From all I’ve heard and seen, the Dutch live life with a cheerful acceptance – acceptance of the constant flow of eager tourists from all over the world, acceptance of their city’s geographic limitations with its narrow houses and crowded and narrow streets, and acceptance of the weather, which, it seems, can pretty much be counted on for providing more clouds and rain than sun.

This morning, though, we are enjoying bursts of sunshine as we pedal on, delicious avocado toast consumed, in the direction of Vondelpark. At 120 acres, Vondelpark is Amsterdam’s largest municipal park. It is centrally located and well-designed, full of spacious, paved pathways, abundant, mature trees, ponds, and grassy lawns. At mid-week, the park is full of people riding bikes, walking dogs, pushing strollers, throwing Frisbees, enjoying picnics and generally loving life. Our own bikes are sturdy and fast as we weave through the crowds. The cool breeze in our faces is refreshing, and we are filled with a sense of blissful well-being.

We stop for a thirst-quenching beer at Groot Melkhuis, a large restaurant with outdoor terrace next to a duck-filled pond. Families with small children as well as groups of young adults fill the terrace, despite the slight chill. Eventually, after winding our way through more of the park’s circuitous pathways, we turn back in the direction of the hotel, full of fresh air and tasty beer.

Later that evening we head across town to meet up with Jody and Josh, friends of ours from Baltimore who moved to Amsterdam in 2012 and have happily established a life here. They, as well as their 4-year-old son, Enzo, are clearly thriving in this city and they confirm that a return to the U.S. is not on their radar.

Life seems great here, and if you believe the research, the Dutch are among the top 10 happiest people in the world. Based on data from a 2021 Gallup World Poll survey, the Netherlands has “performed well in the generosity index, GDP per capita, social support, and the corruption index, making it one of the least corrupt European countries next to Finland and Denmark.” (The Netherlands Remains One of the Top 10 Happiest Countries in the World, All About Expats Blog, allaboutexpats.nl)

Taking it a step further, I learn that, according to a 2020 UNICEF report that includes data from 41 high-income countries, Dutch children “had the highest sense of well-being.” The report was based on children’s mental well-being, physical health, as well as academic and social skills development. According to “The Working Parent’s Survival Guide,” by Anita Cleare, the Dutch have a reputation for valuing diversity and inclusivity, which is huge both academically and socially, especially in our pressurized world of social media. (Anita Cleare, The Working Parent’s Survival Guide – How to Parent Smarter Not Harder, Rowman & Littlefield, July 26, 2021)

So, “growing up in a culture where everyone’s unique gifts are celebrated, and children feel like they can be who they want to be,” without being judged, is “going to help children’s happiness levels,” said Cleare. In addition, an environment of non-competitiveness is encouraged in the Netherlands where getting the best grades is not the be-all to end-all (Vicky McKeever, CNBC.com, November 26, 2021).

All of this brings to mind a picture from our time in Amsterdam that sticks in my mind’s eye. We were returning to the hotel one dark, rainy evening right at rush hour. Standing at the hotel entrance overlooking the street with its heavy car traffic and even heavier bicycle traffic, I spot a young woman riding a large bicycle with what can only be described as a sidecar, except that the sidecar is in the front. Bundled into the sidecar are two young children, about five to seven years old.

A bit startled by this sight, what strikes me the most, though, is that neither the mother nor her children are expressing any discomfort, annoyance or discontentedness with their situation. It’s clear that, for this family, this three-wheeled contraption is a primary means of transportation, and that they are simply engaged in their evening commute. The steady, chilly rain seems of no consequence to them. I chuckle to myself, shake my head, and neatly tuck this mental image away in my never-in-a-million-years-would-you-see-a-parent-doing-this-in-the-United-States folder.

But for me this was a perfect example of a people who have chosen to find contentedness in life. Why sweat the small stuff? And, to be honest with you, I would have to agree. In the end, what our little four-day sojourn has taught me is that it would be great to be happy like the Dutch, and that there’s a heck of a lot to love about Amsterdam.